


Lil' Hal: Get Some Fuck

by Anonymous



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Banter, Dirk Strider Is An Emotional Masochist, Farce, Humor, M/M, Pseudo-Incest, Robot Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:15:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23766763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: A smooth metal chassis. Flexible, rubbery joints.Lil' Hal was made to fuck.
Relationships: Auto-Responder | Lil Hal/Dirk Strider
Comments: 7
Kudos: 51
Collections: Anonymous, HSCCS Promptfest 2020





	Lil' Hal: Get Some Fuck

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [HSCCSPromptfest2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/HSCCSPromptfest2020) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Dirk makes Hal a body so that he can have some company. Then because both of them are horny bastards, they fuck. (Because why else would Dirk add a robotic dick to Hal’s new body?) 
> 
> Brownie points if Dirk is the one getting fucked.

A smooth metal chassis. Flexible, rubbery joints.

Lil' Hal was made to fuck.

"You made me to fuck," He said, in fact, the very first words out of his synthesized vocal cords. One of the best part of newfound sapience wasn't quite the ability to grab your creator by the hips and begin pulling them close to your warm, thumping silicon chassis -- no, it was the ability to fuck with their head. "Do you realize how messed up that is, that you literally created a duplicate of yourself for the direct purpose of having it fuck you?"

Dirk sighed, wiggling himself up against Hal and pressing him back into his charging dock, a long, slender capsule sort of arrangement that provided ample room for fucking and ample handles for grabbing whilst fucking. It was almost as if it was made for Dirk to be fucked within and upon (which it was). "Don't you think it's more messed up that I created a sapient mind, programmed with the express desire to fuck me, and then also programmed it with enough self-referential ability to chastise me for making it that way?"

Hal began to slip his hands into Dirk's jeans, near the waistband. His fingertips had no fingerprints to speak of, marking his lack of human identity. He was a being designed from the ground up for fucking, from his Dirk-bait "aggressive twink" body, to his glowing red "fuck me" eyes, to his ability to chatter the other man's fucking ears off. His fingers went a little further down, into Dirk's boxers, starting to hike them down just enough that his erect robo-dick pressed against Dirk's unerect human-ass. "No, because the creation of life is just a thing that us mad scientists do sometimes, but creation of life with sole purpose just to have it fuck you is a little beyond the pale."

"What's the philosophical difference that makes "creating life for the purpose of having it fuck you" not as bad as "creating life with the ability to self-reference its own status as a created being for the sole purpose of fucking with you"? One of them seems a little more philosophically beyond said aforementioned pale than the other one, considering that it implies I created you just to suffer, in a way." Dirk replied, a lengthy diatribe escaping his lungs with the occasional squeak while Hal's cock lubed itself up with an ample amount of robo-lube, designed to be kind of tacky and stringy in the way that precum was. Except not precum, and far more usable as lube. The head of his dick started rubbing circles around Dirk's freshly shorn, waxed, and cleaned asshole.

"I think the latter is funny, because I was programmed to find it amusing, and thus it doesn't cause me nearly as much existential angst at the latter. Regardless of _your_ stance on creating intelligence, I think it's very funny. It's like a baby laughing at its own birth, before God decides to press on its lip and take away all its memories." Hal responded, gently coaxing Dirk's _stupendously_ erect beef truncheon out of the rest of his boxers and letting the whole ensemble of clothes fall down to his ankles. Dirk reached up and grabbed hold of the conveniently placed handles, beginning to rock his very clean asshole against Hal's similarly clean robotic phallus (or iron truncheon, as the boys were known to have called it).

Dirk let out a small grunt as Hal's dick pushed past that weird little ring around your buttshole that prevented all the waste from falling out, and Hal found himself inimitably pleased at how clean his copulatory partner was. Dirk had clearly prepared for this, even if he forgot to give his new creation a condom. "Are you calling yourself a baby? Are you saying I'm a pedophile?" Dirk responded in kind, clenching his teeth every so often and grunting, rocking with the gentle force of Hal's dickwise anus-punching.

"I have no name. I am but two days old. What shall I call thee? I happy am. Joy is my name, sweet joy befall thee!" Hal quoted, robotically, verbatim, pulling Dirk a little bit closer to himself while he gently nipped and kissed at his creator's neck with his weirdly fleshy robot lips. "Of course not, you fucking goofball. I was made with a scan of your brain. I'm as old as you are. In fact, this is the least pedophilic you could possibly be."

"Is it incestuous?" Dirk asked through grit teeth. Hal's fingers dug into the skin of his thighs a little bit, each thrust making that much more precum leak from the tip of Dirk's cock.

"Probably," Hal replied, before pressing himself up all the way to the hilt inside of Dirk. His mechanical ballsack started to tense and quake, retracting like a snail in the wintertime, a series of hissing pneumatic tubes beginning to dump a load of sticky room-temperature fake cum into Dirk's asshole. Pulling out quickly, Hal spun the shaking Dirk around, grabbed him by the hair, and forced him down to his knees. "Why, do you have a problem with that?"

Hal proceeded to shoot two ropes of cum on Dirk's face.


End file.
